Glass half full

This may be a completely selfish post, but it will help keep me accountable. I am sometimes plagued by negative thoughts when I have so much in my life to be grateful for. Why does it seem so easy to fall into negative thinking? The result of negative thinking takes you away from the present and drains all energy from you. Negative thinking is completely debilitating  as it can affect your thoughts, words, and behaviors.

I made the choice to move to Singapore. Little did I know, it would be near impossible for me to get a job here. Not being able to work has really taken a toll on my confidence, motivation, and optimism. I have never been in this position before. While in my “depth of despair” my BF sent me a story I haven’t stopped thinking about. The story is going around Facebook and whether it’s true or not, it’s worth a thought.

The story is based on a 92-year-old woman. She gets herself up every morning to do her hair and makeup just right, regardless of the fact that she is legally blind. Her husband of 70 years passed away so she is moving to a nursing home. After waiting for hours in the lobby of the nursing home, she is finally presented with her room. While in the elevator on the way to her floor, the helper begins describing her room. Before the helper could finish his sentence, the woman says with the enthusiasm of a child, “I love it.” The helper, confused, asks how she could love it without seeing it first. She responds, “Happiness is something you decide on ahead of time. Whether I like my room or not doesn’t depend on how the furniture is arranged, it’s how I arrange my mind. I already decided to love it. It’s a decision I make every morning when I wake up. I have a choice; I can spend the day in bed recounting the difficulty I have with the parts of my body that no longer work, or get out of bed and be thankful for the ones that do. Each day is a gift, and as long as my eyes open I’ll focus on the new day and the happy memories I’ve stored away, just for this time in my life.”

Happiness is a choice. It has to be a conscious effort on our part. Yes, we have these preconceived notions, or standards, based on past experiences of how we expect life to proceed. However, things don’t always go the way we expect. This can result in feelings of being overwhelmed. Here are some strategies to let positivity reign and break out of the negative thought pattern:

1. Pay attention to self-talk. You are constantly forming opinions and thoughts throughout the day. You can correct these thoughts to exhibit only positive self-worth.
2. Try to use daily affirmations. This may sound silly, but your mind is powerful and capable of change.
3. Look for the silver lining in any bad situation. There is always a way to put a positive spin on something negative.
4. Reduce or learn how to manage the way you react to stress. Negative thoughts are unproductive and cause more stress.
5. Allow yourself time to think. Think of how you choose to react and you will most likely react constructively.
6. Recognize your emotions because they are a reflection of your thoughts.
7. Don’t dwell on the negative. We all have a past, but we can learn and grow from mistakes we have made. Don’t play the victim and take responsibility.

Just remember this powerful quote from Margaret Thatcher:

Watch your thoughts, they become words.
Watch your words, they become actions.
Watch your actions, they become habits.
Watch your habits, they become your character.
Watch your character, it becomes your destiny.